drink coffee or sleep? oh yeah and now my cat hates me..

my cat is out of food...I've gone to the store three times in the last fifteen hours and all three times the cat food, ( the starred item on my list) is the ONE thing that I come home without..so the cat is sniffing our bar stools, eating the gladiolas and giving me the mean cat stare. But the baby is sleeping, the teen is sleeping, my boyfriend is sleeping...which means...

i have silence..

Cat will have to wait.

I'm recovering from a nice little bout of mastitis, also known as a breast infection, which gave me my first fever in two years, and reaffirms my recurring thought that while breastfeeding is tremendous for my son, it is hell on wheels for me. I consider it my ultimate gift.

I dance with my son, whisper a million i love yous in his ears that i reason will tide him over while I'm at work until i can rush home and see his eyes focus in on my face and that perfect gummy grin....reserved for me...

seems like a minute ago it was a girl instead of a boy i was staring down at, and it was espresso brown instead of gray eyes studying my face for validation and eternal love....

i see feet kicking in the bassinet, and I'm almost out of flowers...

I jumped into the world of

expandable jeans - and to my surprise..I loved it! While shopping with my daughter for dresses for her graduation weekend last night, I decided with great reluctance to peek in Gap Maternity and check out the jeans, officially tired of trying to pack my belly and butt in my regular people jeans.. With a variety of beautiful shirts to choose from..I grabbed two pairs of jeans and took off for the fitting room, positive that while I might find comfort, I wouldn't find happiness the way I had with my True Religons..

HOW WRONG I WAS!

with the belly like girdle waist around my tummy, and the boot leg cut, I for three seconds felt..

FASHIONABLE!

I believe I actually squealed in the dressing room..
Four tops and one pair of expanda waist jeans later..( on sale no less)
I departed a happy camper..excited about showing off my belly and my baby blue jeans..
proves don't knock it till ya try it..

exhausted and comatose..that's where you'll find me

I spend most of my days somewhere being exhausted and comatose. Waking up tired is chic and my appreciation for all things take out has returned. My inner Martha Stewart folds and creases endless pages with great sales ideas and all the stupendous projects I am going to tackle..tomorrow. I have notebooks to organize my notepads and lying in bed nightly solve the problems of small countries . I condemn the laundry with a stern look and refuse to be lured by it’s continual growth, setting an alarm on my blackberry to check out full service wash dry fold places.
Daily I cart my gym bag to work, remembering how great I felt two months ago when I slipped on my Nikes. More energy, more stamina, and no droopy butt. However, lunch is infinitely more enticing and what’s 20 stinkin minutes on the bike going to do anyway? My body continues to shape shift in preparation for baby landing aka birth. Potato sacks and burlap soon will be my only viable options, as the breasts continue to make their case for soverign nation status. I spend whole hours staring at black and white grainy ultrasounds, fascinated by my baby boys face already. I cry for everything and nothing, laugh and talk to my stomach knowing I am heard.I dig in my daughter's ears in public, lick my finger to get dirt off her face, and just like that, I am my mother.
Pregnancy brain loss surfaces when I return to the parking garage clueless about my car's location. Sexy underwear left with my waistline and in it's place a worn Sox jersey and my used to be too big sweats. I'm officially hot.I scroll through my 12 year old daughter’s phone contacts and come across my own name saved under mom. And just like that, I am cured for the moment, from the over everything and underliving blues. At least until tomorrow.

pretty feet, blonde haired black girls and paul walker

paul walker..yum.
how are you going to make me valet my car, charge $2.50 per 15 minutes then take twenty minutes to get my car and get mad at ME cuz I don't tip your ass?
My fertility is fine thanks..in fact, don't look at me sideways, I will get pregnant..and if I met that man, and he was younger and wanted a child, if he asked right..lmao...but he better be asking really really really right.:) cuz i got my sights set on a two seater porsche and the cote d' azur in a few.
why is that old ladies will cut you in line at the post office, the supermarket, and act like they can't see or hear you? they don't even try to be slick..they walk in front of you like what?
kids are EXPENSIVE!!.. private school, braces, food, water..DAMN..mini atm machines.
I'm not a hater, but Katie Holmes looks like she went from 26 to 45..she reminds me of one of those well off Central Park West socialites...which is cool, if you are 45!
Obama gets it. if you don't know...
" are the clothes in Ross used?" my daughter..." no, you can get some good stuff in there.." me..."oh...well i don't like how it feels in there.." my daughter
male groupies are still LIVE AND LARGE in cali..trust.
a job is what you put on your tax return.....everything else is...well..
Maxwell...WTF????
Why is so much of America overweight? really though..
maine, vermont, new hampshire, rhode island, massachusetts, connecticut .....
we call those states above..NEW ENGLAND..which is not ENGLAND...all located north of NY not across the Atlantic......fyi for you left coasters...
i plan events...orchestrate events...i am not a promoter...promoters get people to the party... I CREATE the party..think the baddest event you have attended in la in the last year...no..think bigger...
Vanity Fair, Polariod Beach House, Hennessey featuring Pharell, InStyle Soiree, Giorgio Armani...i did that. ( excuse me while i dust off my shoulders....but for real, i gets tired of peeps asking me what night and where is the club i do..:)
i am very single, but i know without any doubt who my soul mate is...
...with that said...
get over it already..whatever the hell it is..him, her, your past, your failure, your fear, your success, you pain...do you not see your own brilliance?
when i asked god for a please please...i am glad at certain times he ignored me.
we have got to do better with our veterans, inmates, elderly, children...if not...well read " the Road.." maybe it will shock you into action.
the water, coffee, wine diet seems to work just fine for me.
it's alot easier to assume the best in peeps than the worst.
newflash...black people can have blue eyed children...they can have kids with skin white as snow..YES THEY CAN...
CARS DONT IMPRESS WOMEN...THEY IMPRESS GIRLS...but if you are going after a woman..we expect you to have a car, just don't mention it as a positive attribute..it a CAR!...
311 days left for me to work my way out of this tax bracket where i am getting ROBBED...
so there was this man...that had feet so fine he should be doing dr. scholl commercials..wow..is all i got for that.
and June is the return of the six pack man...YES!!!! YES WE CAN...
back to tha hustle...