back to work...oh how i miss my little guy...

his giggles when i dance, his grunts while sleeping, his humming while eating....the big eyes watching my every move, conveying so much more than he has words to say..nuzzlng my face in his neck crevices...that gaze that says...

I love you like no other mama.

now im blessed that i have a great job to return to, a supportive boss who's first question on my first day back was..." how are you doing? are you ok?

knowing as a mom herself that day one away is not the best time ever. I admit I cried all the way to my exit to work...not out of worry, but hoping that i had created enough memories in his bank that would sustain him so my place in his heart was solidified...

the daycare find was blessing number #2...right up the street, wonderful owner who called me a few hours later to tell me he was fine, ..and that if i wanted she would call me daily...

I said thanks...

so that afternoon when he dad dropped him off and i saw his eyes tell me i love you, and his face break into that familiar grin...all was right in my world.

and that's a very very good thing.

my baby keeps me sane..

some days i wonder whether i have lost my mind completely..between the fatigue, working a full time gig, juggling a pre teen, there is very little time left in my world for me...myself...without somehow feeling selfish..and complaining really doesn't work, after all no one wants to hear a pregnant woman's woes..( most think we wanted to be pregnant so...)
anyway,
the rainbow in the midst of the storm is my baby thump, kick, tickle giggle, reminding me..that all of this isn't a big merry go round of nothing..i am growing a little guy who is depending on me, and sending me his smiles via an elbows below my belly button...
and my 12 year old when not being over her mom does all and everything that a big sister should..washing dishes for me, cleaning up, climbing in bed next to me and showering my neck with her kisses...
oye..
I know God knows what he is doing...so i am trying to fall in line and be stronger than i am weak most of the time..
but when all i want to do is sleep and daydream.....
such is modus operandi for a thursday...