leg cramps and buckets of tears, and baby brothers

It was a wonderful day yesterday, all the way until, the switch turned and out went happy and in began waterfall number one of the week..reason not important or sensical. That lasted for about two hours until my explanation of why I was crying caused even me to laugh..

welcome to the home stretch. where logic has left the building.

I think back to every woman I know mother to more than one child and I want to personally call her and tell her...

she's insane or my hero.

back to the early am leg cramps...such fun...if going to the bathroom three or four times a night isn't enough, or the 2 am kickboxing class my son teaches...after all,

sleep is for sissies..and I am a mom..

and will there be a day when sleep finally returns..when my son is a toddler.. ?

THAT'S A QUESTION!!!!!

he has chubby cheeks like his daddy and my chin. and he grins alot ...thanks ultrasound..

his big sister is ready and dying with anticipation and i remember a similar feeling when my baby brother popped into the world, 11 years after me.

and I will walk, clean, eat, bathe, laugh, talk to my friends AND

sleep.

just maybe not all in the same year.

btw..that's my little brother on my lap..he's 6'4 now.

sunday morning freakout..

with my daughter, breastfeeding was anything but effortless. Frantic calls to my mom, the La Leche league and tearful pleas to my daughter ..made birth seem like cake in comparison. Now with less than eight weeks to go, I wake up on Sundays, with a fresh list of items to fret over., not made easier or shorter by tips, ideas and must haves from anyone and everyone that has ever birthed a child.

I remind myself that the most important components come included in the baby pack...baby..and love...and that most of the rest is extra stuff sent from a far a way planet to worry me...speaking of worry,

my belly is so big now I have two regions to my body...ab(above belly) and bb( below belly).
the bb region is now gone from my eyesight until further notice..i.e after my baby boy pops out.

my tattoos continue to stretch and stretch....but still thanks to the genetic God..still no stretch marks.

I'm back to reading to my baby, talking to myself ALOT more and constantly wrapping my head around being a mom of TWO kids.

why is it that i notice the most minute of dust particles but can step over an entire laundry room of laundry?

I require a good push to effectively get up from a seated position on my couch. And I haven't cried in the last 48 hours...

good way to start the week.

little gifts my baby boy leaves for his mom..

three pimples, wider feet and inablity to sleep longer than five hour stretches....groovy. I remain a wee wee bit on the grumpy/weepy/estatically happy side. Less than eight weeks to go, and each day hammers in the facts..

there is a baby in my belly and I am the mama.

Wowsers.

I read all the pregnancy books, listen with great sarcastic interest the " advice" from celebrity moms....I plan detailed projects..( this week's is to plant flowers in my yard) usually to be derailed by ..my lack of energy..kinda like ordering more than you can eat..although that is an awful analogy right now...

baby boy...

he hates ultrasounds..refuses with great intensity to reveal his entire unobstructed face..rests his head on his hand as if to say.." enough already momma I am busy"..what he does love is music like his daddy and some call them hiccups, I like to think he is giggling.:)

I dream in

belly 3 d...waking up checking to make sure it ( the belly) is still there..then a light nudge or push..so my boy will push back..just to know he is there and fine..

hot

isn't the term I use when I first look in the mirror in the morning..puffy, pregnant, shocked...much better choices...

and so it is..on a Saturday in preggoville.

add sweat to that list..

of lovely things that good ol pregnancy brings.....now sweat takes cover under my mountains..ala my boobs, my belly, my forehead,.. and all this within seconds after sleep hits..what gives?
did i mention panting like man's best friend while completing simple tasks such as grocery shopping? I've accepted that I'm not getting my sexy back until the leaves change...but do I have to like perspire like a mechanic from Phoenix in the summer?
ok enough griping..
let's see i love..
eggo waffles, ranch dressing, cheese pizza with way too much garlic, potatoes in any form, blueberry everything, spinach, my couch, reading and rereading every book on being pregnant, staring at our ultrasounds..guessing whether that was a foot or a hand, no periods, target, pears, other pregger women, my OB aka my new BFF.
my lack of stretch marks are made up with the cellulite that is accumulating on my butt..

and what's a little cellulite anyway? and Eggo if you're reading..i think i deserve a lifetime supply for all this good press..

it's official.. I waddle

not like a duck, more like an unbalanced penguin...my shoe collection now consists of three pairs of flats, my 3 and 4 inch heels blowing me kisses from the corner of the closet where they are gathering dust...
my Uppababy stroller arrives and I know without a doubt that it's significantly nicer than my first car. when did being preggo get so chic?
I am amazed and appalled by how my body has completely taken over my willpower to do..
anything useful.
wake up..work. eat. go home..eat. plop on couch..eat something else..watch the yoga video..key word watch..collapse in bed with my new boyfriend..aka the snoozer pillow..obsess over everything not done..wonder if there are two or three Eggo waffles left..get perfectly comfortable..only to have to pee...collapse again..sleep for what feels like a minute..bathroom break..fall deeply asleep..wake up..just because
I don't exercise, although i dream of it..sometimes..
and my waist expands the weeks decrease...i spend precious time marveling at the flat stomach that once was..
reaffirming that in it's place is one healthy happy little fella.

third trimester = body is not your own..

My hair grows faster than I can wax it, and yes it’s true Matilda..you cease to be able to see your “parts” without the help of a very good mirror. I am sleepy, moody, weepy and excited. All within the span of five minutes. I plan my unborn son’s wedding, yet avoid setting up his nursery because it acknowledges I really am going to be a mother ..again.
I come to the conclusion that I am indeed the only pregnant woman not exercising. My body formerly known as fit will remain a part of history, along with my prom pictures. I tell myself to listen to my body, and it screams rest and Eggo waffles.
I buy flats for the first time and remember that laughing too hard causes leakage..of the pee kind…I know..gross. Ultrasound cufflinks are hot, and I measure my nose and my feet for unwelcome growth.
I notice that my baby loves the sound of drums and the piano and prefers me sleeping on my left side. I thank him for sparing me the stretch marks and swollen legs. When not crying, I am pretty damn happy.
I count my weeks gone by and to go obsessively, read over checklists and hate celebrity moms just because.

I jumped into the world of

expandable jeans - and to my surprise..I loved it! While shopping with my daughter for dresses for her graduation weekend last night, I decided with great reluctance to peek in Gap Maternity and check out the jeans, officially tired of trying to pack my belly and butt in my regular people jeans.. With a variety of beautiful shirts to choose from..I grabbed two pairs of jeans and took off for the fitting room, positive that while I might find comfort, I wouldn't find happiness the way I had with my True Religons..

HOW WRONG I WAS!

with the belly like girdle waist around my tummy, and the boot leg cut, I for three seconds felt..

FASHIONABLE!

I believe I actually squealed in the dressing room..
Four tops and one pair of expanda waist jeans later..( on sale no less)
I departed a happy camper..excited about showing off my belly and my baby blue jeans..
proves don't knock it till ya try it..