Tuesday, March 25, 2008

bad boys hot girls and broken hearts.

He's hot. Ultra sexified...i made that word up. He calls late, if at all. He was held up with work,his mom,friends, the game, his ex..He misses you. He wants to see you. Of course, to talk to you. He knows the spot and the other spot..now, he has you forgetting whats his name...

..I've dated him, in a variety of shapes and sizes, and no matter your race, or class, the bad boy manages to defy logic...remaining in your rolodex..
after the calls to your girlfriend that begin..
" i hate him..never eva calling .."
"he must think I'm stupid,,"
" let him go to the next chick with his b.s"

No one likes a pansy, a softy...in fact the only item i like soft is a pillow. I want my man to brood, jump tall buildings in single bound...battle for my honor...
and yes, I want him to have emotion, and compassion...

just not more than me.

What I'm saying is..while we want to know you care, and want you to call us, alot..
I am fully aware that my man.." ah I love the sound of those words...:)
is still a man
who if I forget that, or don't appreciate..will return to
his place in the jungle..
also known as the
single world..
Men are afraid of women coming to bed with flannel pajamas..
We have nightmares over that Marlborough man becoming the
Candy man.

My gay hairdresser gave me some great advice one day..while I sat a few years back boring him yet once again with a story of me bad boy lust.
"Treat the one you love like the one you can't stand. Then he'll never leave ya."
I'm not sure I entirely agree with that ..but i get his point. Don't sell the store and the ship for a nickel...
That's the bad boy philosphy..ask Diddy. He'll tell ya..
Even though I am happily not single anymore, I don't want just a man..I want fire...
and the key to starting a flame is some matches....and wood..
I want to be that couple that you see and
you think
maybe you can be hot, happy AND a couple..

Monday, March 17, 2008

it is what it is.

I have few fears. The ones I do have are centered around being a bore, and being afraid of life. I moved six times to four different states in two years. Because I felt like it. I've had sex on the first date, and waited six months before a kiss. I know that one day I will be that old lady in the grocery store, lipstick a shade too red, age spots on my hands, wrinkled neck..and I hope that when that is me, I can laugh, and tell someone, anyone about those months I worked as a stripper rather than collect a dime of welfare, seeing the man I love waiting for me on a moped with the sun setting in Santorini, selling my script in Los Angeles, horseback riding in Mexico, girl fests at happy hours, believing in the i love you every time i said it..
I know one day I will fall so hard that I pinch myself. I never want to get mad that I try to live, and I always want to take an extra step to feel..the messed up part of that is ...
you hurt a lot more too..but I am the original all or nothing chick..I am loved or hated...I hold on to those kisses that were soo good and
the ever wonderful phone call where you realize HE GETS ME!!!!..
I love love too much to be a bystander...
I wish I was built to have the 2.5 kids, the white picket fence and the 20 plus years at the same company and a nice 401k..
but that life while great for some..
would kill me
I am ruled by my passions as Liz Taylor put it..
i welcome the ache..
i always know
ecstasy isn't far behind...
...........................................................two of two..

Sunday, March 16, 2008

wish list.

tell me I'm beautiful.
kiss my neck.
send flowers at least once.
listen when my best friend drives us crazy.
smell good.
say my name.
ask about my family.
pull me close.
walk on the outside of the street.
see my eyes.
write a letter.
surprise me.
trust me.
don't let me run.
kill bugs.
mow the lawn.
put the seat down.
talk to me in the shower.
have my back.
take my side.
let me cry.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

call girls and the road less travelled.

When did everyone get so frickin judgemental? I notice shoes, handbags and chipped nails. I assume most women are getting more or less sex than they admit to. While I get that the governor of a state shouldn't be paying to get laid, I am flabbergasted with the media obsession with the details.

"Why did he do it? "

Are you serious? I know first graders that ask better questions.

Can men and women be faithful?


Is it natural?


Women nag their husbands. Sex becomes routine. Once a week, a month..a season. I'm not saying it's right, so zip it. But it happens. Men like variety. Dress up...nurse, cop, maid, Barbie..
With the lights on, kitchen, dining room..on the porch so the neighbors can see.
But husbands can't quite bring themselves to ask their wife to tie them up. You're the mom, their rock, their love.

Not their freak.

That's where "Kristen" comes in. No pretending. You paid for honesty. Sky's the limit, and she's cute too. In certain moments, you might believe she cares. The hour seems closer to a second, and who is it really hurting anyway?
You call one more time. another. Hey you don't bother your wife about the renovations to the house that had you working overtime for a year.

It's harmless.

I want to be the lady, the lover and the freak. But then I am built a little different. I know women, wives that are. Men aren't that complicated. They like sex. A lot.

Yes, even your man.

Doesn't mean that if you sex your hubby six ways to Sunday he's not gonna cheat.

But I think the odds decrease greatly.

Either way, I am more upset at the Gov for breaking his vows and making his three girls very uncomfortable...for that he sucks ass.

two of two....

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

being single is safe..

is the conclusion i came to about twenty minutes ago. My friends tell me that I find something wrong with men in order to remain a small self sufficient country. I have always scoffed at that idea, because I truly didn't believe it. Instead my rationale was that I wouldn't settle in order to be coupled up. Ugh. Duet for the sake of it. Yuk. I love the comfort of crawling in bed beside a man, love the " love you" at the end of a convo.. Having a man that will walk past your bad mood and kiss your lips, is a good thing. Even better the man that sees you, I mean really sees you. .. Yes to all of the above and more..

but while that love can be as good as advance notice on a sale, it can also swoop in like that crazy dude in Batman..and fly out with your heart, your soul and the hope you had that love could work for you.

I am a solutions girl. I haven't mastered the art of tact yet. If it's raining, get an umbrella. If he hurt you, leave his ass. Love happens to be a blackjack table stacked heavily against hitting the jackpot. Too many options, weak men, sorry women, and a myriad of other reasons make love the last guy picked for the team.

Pick a threesome. Pick daisies. But Love? nope.

Sadly I have an almost impeccable bullshit meter... even before it's a fully formulated thought..
i feel it, and bounce to new territories. or more likely...my apartment aka my cave.

i just stopped to refill my glass of yellow tail cab. my emotions flow better with vino..

so like i was saying...here's the bottom line... While i see the worth in therapy, I prefer shoes, so my issues I work out myself... writing that sounds a tad stupid, but hey, it's my reality...

I run when I should stay. When I need love the most, I turn off my phone.

I met this great guy, and so far, he has me thinking about taking off my Nike's...


hanging close to love.

imagine that...stay tuned..

Friday, March 7, 2008

going international..

I love American men. Steak, football, ..but Tam and I have been discussing and finding lately that we are attracting and attracted to, those who don't call the good ol USA home.. Visions of Javier Bardem, Daniel Dae Kim, Dijmon Hounsou, Russell Crowe, Hugh Grant...walking with the Eiffel Tower in the backdrop, or taking the roads less travelled in Santorini...seem all the more exotic with that international man by my side.
I've never been one to discriminate. My only requirement is sex appeal, and with the international set, that seems to be part of the genetic makeup. I have a Colombian friend, and his voice is soothing, and no matter what we talk about, I feel sexier. Crazy right? When he talks about travelling together, the visions are hot, steamy and sultry...I even hear myself mention us relocating together..wtf?
International men order wine for you, drink slowly and punctuate their stories with grand hand gestures, and intense eye contact. Watching them translating in their heads, pausing with eyes toward the skies..." it's like when something is so beautiful it hurts no?"
Compliments about my hair, my lips, and my skin color...( don't hear that one too much in these parts..)abound, I don't know...it's just all so..well

two of two

Saturday, March 1, 2008

overacheiving or underliving?

I would like to think that I can be satisfied..I can push away from the table before my stomach hurts, only a handful of times have I not known when to say when with the tequila, and no one that knows me well would call me a thrill seeker..unless the topic is men. The concept of everlasting soul mate love is believable to me in theory, and in practice with two couples that I know of for sure...I love the very idea ...which has me wondering, if internally i see marriage and forever the same way I see my washer when it's stuck on the spin cycle....
annoying, but inevitable?
While I have prayed a good Catholic prayer begging for this one then that one to be the one...I am happy to admit God chose to ignore those cries in their entirety...
I want the va and the voom..not a choice..you know what i am talking about too...the couple at dinner that barely responds to each other, eating with their eyes down,their minds jogging back or racing thru time...hearts stuck at that table...because of duty...
of course that isn't every couple...but damn it appears to be a few for sure..
it's Saturday night, and I am blogging. dating for a free meal isn't needed, and my security level is high enough that just because they ask, doesn't mean I will say yes...
i have so many adventures to partake solo..or with my girlfriends...
the pressure, silent pressure to find him, have the babies, the fence and dare i say a dog...
resonate even in this town of debauchery...
however..i will hang my hat on the old adage..you will know it when it's right...
until then i need to get back to my overachieving..