Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sunday thoughts.

"after family, all the rest are strangers"...Wyatt Earp

"me plus you baby girl lets add and we never divide and we just subtract" lil Wayne

"Ward, I'm worried about Beaver." June Cleaver`

"I'll be in aisle eight for the next five minutes if you'd like to discuss Sarah Palin. "- me last night at Ralphs.

"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue." Richard Nixon

"The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality."— Dante Alighieri

-I'm a dude. If I like you, I kiss you. - a dude

"Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines." Satchel Paige

"Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm but the harm does not interest them."— T.S. Eliot

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page."— St. Augustine

"I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth." -- Chico Marx

"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Appreciation is a wonderful thing; it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.."Voltaire

"No answer is your answer" by Greg (written in the "What you should have learned from this chapter"...if he doesn't answer your calls or you never hear from him again, that is your answer.)

-It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less- even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less- than you would have ever imagined. Ladies, please, keep your eye on the prize. - Greg Behrendt - " He's just not that into you"

"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different I would rather be completely fucking mental"- Angelina Jolie

Monday, August 18, 2008

remembering love

remember i love you
was our hello
the smell of Issey
and your skin
made late to
anywhere real
the kitchen
with the white stone
tiles i still
feel against my
damn you make me
your lips said on their
way to covering mine
so deep
with love
I ache even now
missing grooves and beats
only we
where are your
clenching mine
the air
not like
that door in
room so the air
9 1/2 weeks times
a couple
of years
and more than
couple of
years ago
I can't imagine my life without you
remember this love
you taught

before I shut the
one last

Sunday, August 17, 2008

sunday thoughts

  • intelligence is a huge aphrodisiac..

  • so is good red wine.

  • Michael Phelps aka Aqua man swam an entire race with his eyes closed and still won by almost two seconds...

  • Love Madonna, but still trying to figure out the British accent. Isn't she from Detroit?

  • "Only one person can lead sweetie. And that's me" my grandfather..

  • You can't over hug your kid.

  • " The Four Agreements" is a life changing book.

  • Manny Ramirez will never look right in Dodger blue.

  • You learn so much more when you listen.

  • Big sent me a text last night. However I am trying to listen to Laura's advice. So I erased it.

  • I love LOVE the flower mart.

  • Green Bay Packers are STUPID....I hate the Jets, but this year I will make an exception.

  • A man in love is a sexy thing.

  • So is a man with his kid.

  • I love love lala land..but wish it was a little closer to home.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

getting dumped sucks..even if your dog does hate him....

I was team Jolie..Then. While I didn't carry small vials of my ex's blood, Angelina resonated with me, the wild child, stoic yet uber passionate, never apologizing for figuring it out as she went along. Jen was every girl I knew growing up..pretty, perky and perfect.

But while Angelina walked in to soul mate land with Mr. UnGodly beautiful, Jen joined the cast of Sex and the City,..the LA guys, fast starts, followed by the slamming of the brakes and being thrown headfirst from the relationship..with the canned statement from his publicist..
" we remain great friends"

eeeeeeew. Who does that? Says that? Outside of Hollywierd? Ok, probably a lot of people, just not me or with Shaggy DA aka John Mayer, dumping her can officially be labeled a trader.
and another side note..someone please explain Heidi Montag to me....

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Trader Joes, John Edwards, being smart in Hollywood..

It's occurred to me that being beautiful while intelligent in Los Angeles could be considered an occupational hazzard. I can only dumb down for so long before I want to grab my pants like Fred Sanford and say " What? What?" And when did moms and wives get so ANGRY??? I mean yeah, once again I will use my favorite phrase to describe John Edwards.." he sucks ass" but for God sakes he didn't kill anyone, he had an affair!!!!!! He's a man. Go figure. Still sucks but can we please move on to bigger topics like how Casey Anthony seems to be the poster child for bringing back street justice. UGH!! And are you serious, China made the sky blue for the opening ceremonies?? While they sweep the poor under the sidewalk..literally.
How about Michael Phelps?? Single mom, great smile, caring swim coach who took just another kid and helped train him into quite possibly the best Olympian of all time. And they say that after school programs dont' matter. Ask Denzel about that...
Men who say there are no good women usually suck ass at being good men. Ditto for the reverse too.
I love Trader Joes! Although could the parking lots be a lil bit bigger? Do the wide aisles at Ralphs equal the 75% mark up?
Loofahs make your skin softer and get more dirt off.
I'm now allergic to my own cat. Damnit.. But I still leave the television on for her during the day..
A mojito sounds heavenly..see ya..

Sunday, July 20, 2008

this feels good..

When rendered speechless, I smile alot. I did alot of smiling, at him, into space..I am refusing to feel anything other than this blissful, smitten, crazy happy that i am this moment. Replaying songs, the breeze blows my hair a lil different, or so i feel.. when it's easy, it's not hard..if that makes any sense.
Old fashioned new school dude with swagger, saying please and thank you, eyes staying on me, and well,
this little blurb is in no way doing justice to those eight hours crafting a dinner party, or an exquiste event, surprises awaited at every turn or so it seemed...just got better and better and better.
if i were to never see him my bestest said about her husband...
i got it the minute he walked in.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Dear President Bush..from my daughter

my daughter doesn't know I read it..

Dear President Bush;

I'm sorry you're going out of office soon. I hope you spend a good amount of time with your two daughters and your wife. I heard that alot of retired presidents go to Camp David. Is that true? I do wish that you hadn't sent the troops ot Iraq. I know a person who just came home from the war. He became deaf in one ear, had a brain tumor and had to get surgery. Luckily he's ok and got the whole tumor out! I wish you would have brought the troops back. And you could of lowered the debt and done something about it! Have you seen the US Debt Clock????


Come on George do something!!

p.s Can you send me some pictures? And how did you know my address last time when I didn't even put it on the letter? Do you know where every single person is?

insert my daughter's name

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

him..wherever him may be..

dont use me
it was you who chose
me and there were
blinds, not even
fancy white cotton blend
draping my heart
your darkness
found sunlight
while reaching deeper
inside with
what only
could be a kiss
with you
secrets gone
that ah was a
y2G reserve
forgot that bottle was
i am an addict
to the chase
tasting the
air in my mouth
you see me
straight into
that's a brick wall
and even i know that.
okay baby.
let's go home
his hand surrounding
and the rain
begins to

Monday, June 23, 2008

argentine tango..the first eight steps..let a man lead damnit!

I am not the world's greatest dancer.. while I can remain in step with the rythmn, with awe I have always watched those that glide, spin and turn with ease and precision.
So I signed up for an argentine tango class with a good friend, because a partner was required. He and I got there just as the class was starting, neither of sure of what to wear, walked in with normal gym gear, although something had told me to bring heels too.
Inside the studio the average age of the men was I would guess 65..Lots of belted pants and shiny shoes..Plenty of smiles as well, and a few whose first, second or third language wasn't English.
The women were younger mid twenties to fifties and all the space left in the room was by the big windows facing third street.
The teacher began by explaining the history of the tango, then specifically the Argentine Tango.

"is about feeling. and following the lead of your partner. The beauty is watching the woman's movements trail almost effortlessly behind the man's as if in one body."

We worked with our partner then we traded partners, and worked on our first eight steps . I changed into my heels, concentrated on my posture and stared not at my feet, but into the eyes of my partner(s) trying to listen to the music and feel where the music was going.
When my friend ( who is 26) and I left he said to me.

." All of the older women let me lead, the younger chicks, no matter how forcefully I tried to slow them down..still wanted to control the pace of the dance.."

I started laughing because my 85 year old partner,after I stepped on his foot the third time took me by the shoulders and said in a thick Austrian accent..

" It's ok. When you make a mistake, don't stop. trust me. Wait and let me get us back with the music. Because you make mistake, I can fix it, so if you just trust me it still is beautiful dance. ok? ok."

Monday, June 9, 2008

No Boston isn't anymore racist than your city.

I grew up there. Bostonians are blunt. About everything. If you haven't noticed that, bring up the following names.

Johnny Damon(aka traitor of the imth degree)

Bill Laimbeer

Eli Manning


Bill Buckner (ugh!)

Kobe Bryant

George Steinbrenner

The art of being tactful is a learned trait..that many Bostonians never care to acquire. The flip side is you will be hard pressed to find a more loyal or passionate friend or lover than someone born in the state we call Massachusetts. After all, for eighty six years we filled the Green Monster.


Sunday, June 8, 2008

"Just tell me I'm the one.."

Yes, I am an addict to all things Carrie Bradshaw. Mostly because I am the honey brown Boston to Los Angeles version. I have my Big. Whom I have written off more times than the 04 Red Sox. I know that unlike the movie, our ending will not have me strutting in a Elie Saab gown with the Citgo sign flashing in the background. He never has and never will fall into much easier it would be to dismiss if he were born in the Bronx instead of Southie, if he didn't have those eyes, those damn eyes that say alot more than he can ever bring himself to say.

I am over him as much as Carrie was ever over Big.

"I'll cry and sob and wail and it will hurt forever, but I'll get over you. You will be an old man with a bucket of regret wondering why you let the best love walk out of your life.."

I tell him..via text.

He responds weeks later after game six.

"Go Celtics".

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Is marriage only bearable in cotton - poly?

monochromatic sweaters. matching sweatpants. split ends and butterfly clips. Fanny packs stuffed with band aids with Fred Flinstone on them. Visors. Stride rite looking shoes. And sex three times a week.
Is that what marriage is? I steal quick glances of them in the park pushing strollers and swings, once hip women,peeking out from ankle length skirts and Birkenstocks. Their pre married souls cry out silently with that glazed over soccer mom smile.."

What about dates, and conversations and sex on the dinner table with the school bus pulling up?
What about sex period? Where does SHE die? To fashion? To excitement? To 6 week trims?
Or is marriage only bearable in cotton- poly? Once gone, is it possible for the wife to reclaim...
her inner vamp tramp???
Or does eternal love consist of quick kisses on the forehead, bedtime at ten and an endless carpool lane?
Routine = nothing good.
unless you are an accountant. And I suck in math.
That also might be why I'm still single.

Friday, May 30, 2008

an ode to Mr. Big..

every woman has a Mr.Big...and if lucky, a Mr.Bigger...

Big remembers just how to kiss you.
Bigger remembers the first day he kissed you and where.
Big calls you and leaves you wanting more.
Bigger tells you that having you is enough for forever.
Big is a mystery you love to figure out.
Bigger says tricks are for the ones I'm just not that into.
Big says "my family would love you."
Bigger says I want you to be the mother of my children.
Big makes love to you until the sun comes up.
Bigger holds you close all night because you need it.
Big is your soul.
Bigger is your husband.
Big's attraction is his wanderlust.
Bigger leads you with confidence.
Big says it because of timing.
Bigger says I wasn't expecting you, but I can fix that.
Big makes you dream with your eyes open.
Bigger gives you such a great love, you think it is a dream.
Big can't seem to say I love you
Bigger says I love you seems too small for what you make me feel

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

venting, just a little bit..we've got to do better..

Is it just me, or does it seem like every day someone is picking up a gun, and killing multiple people, because their momma said no, somebody picked on them, because they got laid off, for who knows what else...

I have said it a million watch more tv, parents don't talk to their children, spend more money on buying them the right things but forgetting to instill values, don't listen, don't hear, don't enforce rules because it's easier to prescribe a drug, or hire a nanny...

damn Americans don't read enough, but care about what Lindsey is doing who she's doing, but can't tell you where Croatia is, who the president of Israel is or why we should be scared out of our wits about North Korea...

Everyone wants a quick fix for everything...get surgery instead of working out, take a pill, nip this tuck that..everyone is afraid of aging wtf? so you got once beautiful people looking like a new alien nation...

Men making excuses for not being a father,when there is no excuse. You lay down, their is a deal with it.

Women are whack for in any corner of their brain thinking that bringing a life into the world is a means to hold a man...shame on you.. and to continue your bitterness by doing anything other than holding up that father to that child..makes you weak and cruel.. because every child deserves the right to idolize and adore a parent...let the child be the judge ...not your decision to make..

Everyone is so quick to judge everyone else...worry about yourself, your life and your after life...the world would be so much kinder and more peaceful if everyone did just that.
And if you know better do better damn it.. stop complaining about what went wrong, blah blah.. you are better than you think you are..

Let shit go! live... trust in whatever you believe in that it all will be evened out by a just and righteous God...

When i was 19 I had a disease called Gullian Barre..I was in the intensive care unit at UMASS Worcester and although I didn't know it, I was barely mom told me that while i was talking, it sounded like whispers and it took everything in her to react normally and not cry, because she was so scared..crazy thing was, i felt fine, no pain, thought i was talking like i always did...point is, I was close to death, and had no idea it was right on my shoulder..and that has stayed with me, because I figured I would feel death, but no...

so I try to say live full second by second..even though it's easy to do otherwise..
we've got to do better..we've got to want better.
don't we?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

pretty feet, blonde haired black girls and paul walker

paul walker..yum.
how are you going to make me valet my car, charge $2.50 per 15 minutes then take twenty minutes to get my car and get mad at ME cuz I don't tip your ass?
My fertility is fine fact, don't look at me sideways, I will get pregnant..and if I met that man, and he was younger and wanted a child, if he asked right..lmao...but he better be asking really really really right.:) cuz i got my sights set on a two seater porsche and the cote d' azur in a few.
why is that old ladies will cut you in line at the post office, the supermarket, and act like they can't see or hear you? they don't even try to be slick..they walk in front of you like what?
kids are EXPENSIVE!!.. private school, braces, food, atm machines.
I'm not a hater, but Katie Holmes looks like she went from 26 to 45..she reminds me of one of those well off Central Park West socialites...which is cool, if you are 45!
Obama gets it. if you don't know...
" are the clothes in Ross used?" my daughter..." no, you can get some good stuff in there.." me..."oh...well i don't like how it feels in there.." my daughter
male groupies are still LIVE AND LARGE in
a job is what you put on your tax return.....everything else is...well..
Why is so much of America overweight? really though..
maine, vermont, new hampshire, rhode island, massachusetts, connecticut .....
we call those states above..NEW ENGLAND..which is not ENGLAND...all located north of NY not across the for you left coasters...
i plan events...orchestrate events...i am not a promoter...promoters get people to the party... I CREATE the party..think the baddest event you have attended in la in the last bigger...
Vanity Fair, Polariod Beach House, Hennessey featuring Pharell, InStyle Soiree, Giorgio Armani...i did that. ( excuse me while i dust off my shoulders....but for real, i gets tired of peeps asking me what night and where is the club i do..:)
i am very single, but i know without any doubt who my soul mate is...
...with that said...
get over it already..whatever the hell it is..him, her, your past, your failure, your fear, your success, you you not see your own brilliance?
when i asked god for a please please...i am glad at certain times he ignored me.
we have got to do better with our veterans, inmates, elderly, children...if not...well read " the Road.." maybe it will shock you into action.
the water, coffee, wine diet seems to work just fine for me.
it's alot easier to assume the best in peeps than the worst. people can have blue eyed children...they can have kids with skin white as snow..YES THEY CAN...
CARS DONT IMPRESS WOMEN...THEY IMPRESS GIRLS...but if you are going after a woman..we expect you to have a car, just don't mention it as a positive a CAR!...
311 days left for me to work my way out of this tax bracket where i am getting ROBBED...
so there was this man...that had feet so fine he should be doing dr. scholl all i got for that.
and June is the return of the six pack man...YES!!!! YES WE CAN...
back to tha hustle...

beautiful. Funny? employed? Why are you SINGLE IN LA?

men are SCUURRRED... face it..if your chick is a quarter and you are used to dealing with south of the 10 dimes... and rusty nickels..

even a secure dude wonders...
why me?:
she likes you that's why. Of course men try to get at her..everyday all day..
Didn't you?
Beautiful chicks in Los Angeles, probably have dated an athlete, actor, singer or model or all of the above..( i'm three out of four)
not because she's a hoe..but because of the six month clause.
a beautiful chick's first six months in Hollywood..
is like a NBA draft players first year in the League..
except she doesn't have to spend any money.
Who's that? he says.
Who's that?
he says..

Can I take you to dinner? In Vancouver? Paris?
Really though...
So she picks the most sincere of the hims and
they" date" but it ends...
and now she has dated a Laker
and the single brother with the great job (aka the marriage material man)
and decent life who
sees her a few years later
remembers that feeling he had
sipping on his drink watching her
smile too much..

Most beautiful women are triple threats...
fill in the blank with another useful talent.
Ms Not quite as pretty as the beautiful chick will do

a WHOLE lot more of everything .
making mr So single in LA..see her as
the settle down type.
Can everyone take a page from Hova and B? Brad and Angelina?

"I got the baddest chick in
the game wearing my chain"

I think he's that man that wants more than a housewife.

Most beautiful women in LA want to cook and be your partner, your backbone,your co pilot, cheerleader, cook, fantasy, wife...

but men have to put the rearview mirror an HONEST reality check of themselves..
date more than three times to hear what SHE is
it's really not that complicated.

Friday, April 25, 2008

new beginings..

for the new chapter to begin.


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

bad boys hot girls and broken hearts.

He's hot. Ultra sexified...i made that word up. He calls late, if at all. He was held up with work,his mom,friends, the game, his ex..He misses you. He wants to see you. Of course, to talk to you. He knows the spot and the other, he has you forgetting whats his name...

..I've dated him, in a variety of shapes and sizes, and no matter your race, or class, the bad boy manages to defy logic...remaining in your rolodex..
after the calls to your girlfriend that begin..
" i hate him..never eva calling .."
"he must think I'm stupid,,"
" let him go to the next chick with his b.s"

No one likes a pansy, a fact the only item i like soft is a pillow. I want my man to brood, jump tall buildings in single bound...battle for my honor...
and yes, I want him to have emotion, and compassion...

just not more than me.

What I'm saying is..while we want to know you care, and want you to call us, alot..
I am fully aware that my man.." ah I love the sound of those words...:)
is still a man
who if I forget that, or don't appreciate..will return to
his place in the jungle..
also known as the
single world..
Men are afraid of women coming to bed with flannel pajamas..
We have nightmares over that Marlborough man becoming the
Candy man.

My gay hairdresser gave me some great advice one day..while I sat a few years back boring him yet once again with a story of me bad boy lust.
"Treat the one you love like the one you can't stand. Then he'll never leave ya."
I'm not sure I entirely agree with that ..but i get his point. Don't sell the store and the ship for a nickel...
That's the bad boy philosphy..ask Diddy. He'll tell ya..
Even though I am happily not single anymore, I don't want just a man..I want fire...
and the key to starting a flame is some matches....and wood..
I want to be that couple that you see and
you think
maybe you can be hot, happy AND a couple..

Monday, March 17, 2008

it is what it is.

I have few fears. The ones I do have are centered around being a bore, and being afraid of life. I moved six times to four different states in two years. Because I felt like it. I've had sex on the first date, and waited six months before a kiss. I know that one day I will be that old lady in the grocery store, lipstick a shade too red, age spots on my hands, wrinkled neck..and I hope that when that is me, I can laugh, and tell someone, anyone about those months I worked as a stripper rather than collect a dime of welfare, seeing the man I love waiting for me on a moped with the sun setting in Santorini, selling my script in Los Angeles, horseback riding in Mexico, girl fests at happy hours, believing in the i love you every time i said it..
I know one day I will fall so hard that I pinch myself. I never want to get mad that I try to live, and I always want to take an extra step to feel..the messed up part of that is ...
you hurt a lot more too..but I am the original all or nothing chick..I am loved or hated...I hold on to those kisses that were soo good and
the ever wonderful phone call where you realize HE GETS ME!!!!..
I love love too much to be a bystander...
I wish I was built to have the 2.5 kids, the white picket fence and the 20 plus years at the same company and a nice 401k..
but that life while great for some..
would kill me
I am ruled by my passions as Liz Taylor put it..
i welcome the ache..
i always know
ecstasy isn't far behind...
...........................................................two of two..

Sunday, March 16, 2008

wish list.

tell me I'm beautiful.
kiss my neck.
send flowers at least once.
listen when my best friend drives us crazy.
smell good.
say my name.
ask about my family.
pull me close.
walk on the outside of the street.
see my eyes.
write a letter.
surprise me.
trust me.
don't let me run.
kill bugs.
mow the lawn.
put the seat down.
talk to me in the shower.
have my back.
take my side.
let me cry.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

call girls and the road less travelled.

When did everyone get so frickin judgemental? I notice shoes, handbags and chipped nails. I assume most women are getting more or less sex than they admit to. While I get that the governor of a state shouldn't be paying to get laid, I am flabbergasted with the media obsession with the details.

"Why did he do it? "

Are you serious? I know first graders that ask better questions.

Can men and women be faithful?


Is it natural?


Women nag their husbands. Sex becomes routine. Once a week, a month..a season. I'm not saying it's right, so zip it. But it happens. Men like variety. Dress up...nurse, cop, maid, Barbie..
With the lights on, kitchen, dining room..on the porch so the neighbors can see.
But husbands can't quite bring themselves to ask their wife to tie them up. You're the mom, their rock, their love.

Not their freak.

That's where "Kristen" comes in. No pretending. You paid for honesty. Sky's the limit, and she's cute too. In certain moments, you might believe she cares. The hour seems closer to a second, and who is it really hurting anyway?
You call one more time. another. Hey you don't bother your wife about the renovations to the house that had you working overtime for a year.

It's harmless.

I want to be the lady, the lover and the freak. But then I am built a little different. I know women, wives that are. Men aren't that complicated. They like sex. A lot.

Yes, even your man.

Doesn't mean that if you sex your hubby six ways to Sunday he's not gonna cheat.

But I think the odds decrease greatly.

Either way, I am more upset at the Gov for breaking his vows and making his three girls very uncomfortable...for that he sucks ass.

two of two....

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

being single is safe..

is the conclusion i came to about twenty minutes ago. My friends tell me that I find something wrong with men in order to remain a small self sufficient country. I have always scoffed at that idea, because I truly didn't believe it. Instead my rationale was that I wouldn't settle in order to be coupled up. Ugh. Duet for the sake of it. Yuk. I love the comfort of crawling in bed beside a man, love the " love you" at the end of a convo.. Having a man that will walk past your bad mood and kiss your lips, is a good thing. Even better the man that sees you, I mean really sees you. .. Yes to all of the above and more..

but while that love can be as good as advance notice on a sale, it can also swoop in like that crazy dude in Batman..and fly out with your heart, your soul and the hope you had that love could work for you.

I am a solutions girl. I haven't mastered the art of tact yet. If it's raining, get an umbrella. If he hurt you, leave his ass. Love happens to be a blackjack table stacked heavily against hitting the jackpot. Too many options, weak men, sorry women, and a myriad of other reasons make love the last guy picked for the team.

Pick a threesome. Pick daisies. But Love? nope.

Sadly I have an almost impeccable bullshit meter... even before it's a fully formulated thought..
i feel it, and bounce to new territories. or more apartment aka my cave.

i just stopped to refill my glass of yellow tail cab. my emotions flow better with vino..

so like i was's the bottom line... While i see the worth in therapy, I prefer shoes, so my issues I work out myself... writing that sounds a tad stupid, but hey, it's my reality...

I run when I should stay. When I need love the most, I turn off my phone.

I met this great guy, and so far, he has me thinking about taking off my Nike's...


hanging close to love.

imagine that...stay tuned..

Friday, March 7, 2008

going international..

I love American men. Steak, football, ..but Tam and I have been discussing and finding lately that we are attracting and attracted to, those who don't call the good ol USA home.. Visions of Javier Bardem, Daniel Dae Kim, Dijmon Hounsou, Russell Crowe, Hugh Grant...walking with the Eiffel Tower in the backdrop, or taking the roads less travelled in Santorini...seem all the more exotic with that international man by my side.
I've never been one to discriminate. My only requirement is sex appeal, and with the international set, that seems to be part of the genetic makeup. I have a Colombian friend, and his voice is soothing, and no matter what we talk about, I feel sexier. Crazy right? When he talks about travelling together, the visions are hot, steamy and sultry...I even hear myself mention us relocating
International men order wine for you, drink slowly and punctuate their stories with grand hand gestures, and intense eye contact. Watching them translating in their heads, pausing with eyes toward the skies..." it's like when something is so beautiful it hurts no?"
Compliments about my hair, my lips, and my skin color...( don't hear that one too much in these parts..)abound, I don't's just all so..well

two of two

Saturday, March 1, 2008

overacheiving or underliving?

I would like to think that I can be satisfied..I can push away from the table before my stomach hurts, only a handful of times have I not known when to say when with the tequila, and no one that knows me well would call me a thrill seeker..unless the topic is men. The concept of everlasting soul mate love is believable to me in theory, and in practice with two couples that I know of for sure...I love the very idea ...which has me wondering, if internally i see marriage and forever the same way I see my washer when it's stuck on the spin cycle....
annoying, but inevitable?
While I have prayed a good Catholic prayer begging for this one then that one to be the one...I am happy to admit God chose to ignore those cries in their entirety...
I want the va and the voom..not a know what i am talking about too...the couple at dinner that barely responds to each other, eating with their eyes down,their minds jogging back or racing thru time...hearts stuck at that table...because of duty...
of course that isn't every couple...but damn it appears to be a few for sure..
it's Saturday night, and I am blogging. dating for a free meal isn't needed, and my security level is high enough that just because they ask, doesn't mean I will say yes...
i have so many adventures to partake solo..or with my girlfriends...
the pressure, silent pressure to find him, have the babies, the fence and dare i say a dog...
resonate even in this town of debauchery...
however..i will hang my hat on the old will know it when it's right...
until then i need to get back to my overachieving..

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

.. an actual date...

date= 1. time of an event 2. day of the month engagement...

If there was a dictionary of terms for Los Angeles, the word above would NOT be in it. Latte, Manolo, spinning, Pink's Hot Dogs...for sure would..but DATE? The very mention of the word, seems to cause great confusion for Angelenos of both sexes. Men feel like a meal ticket, women, are left to ponder is it their hair, their weight, their zip code...
I just think the art of dating is as extinct as the dodo in Los Angeles, plan opportunities, booty calls, and occasionally, a dinner, but a DATE????? hell to the no. A sure fire way to silence beautiful women, ask them to recall their last two dates... Refer back to the above defintion...time/day/social engagement...doesn' t call/at night/sex......Men see women as bitter, women see men as uncultured and cheap... My married girlfriends recount stories of how their husbands courted them( another lost word), sent flowers, remembered birthdays, proposed AND actually married, ..and I sit enthralled, twirling my untwirlable hair...thinking...hold on's not a fairytale...
and then, I have an LA version of a date, = ( a movie night at his/your house) where conversation is placed between television and his crackberry chirping and his answering...where he is sure the night will end is hot sweaty sex..because didn't I see that bottle of wine was $26 ?
this is where if i could transport myself to Oz...the clicking of heels would start..
am I an OLD cougar? has my lack of assness begun to affect my datablity? maybe I shouldn't of mentioned that my parents are still together...I know I need to dumb myself down...
because there has to be a reason why this man thinks $26 = me butt naked.
Call me crazy, but i thought a date was a planned event...that included, effort, thought and precsion..that showed the interest that was supposedly the impetus for this event....
but male Angelenos can and do call, email same day, same night, beep horns, pull up with the car running..when was the last time a man in a car got out the car when you came down and opened the door for you? ..
let you hop in the car, breeze a hello to you while wrapping up a call...Is a pair of slacks too much to ask? shoes? not selection?
men respond...well if she was worth all that...if she was, yeah. i might do that...I know that when a man is a man..i have a tendency to be...that's right ...a woman...
just seems like the lassiez faire of So Cal, the climate, has permeated the single scene...the hey i'll meet you at the spot and lets have drink, and oh by the way, I'm actually 5'9 not 6'0... is the par for the course... cell phone, texting, all the norm, ..and oh yeah, what did you say you did for a living?